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Some people don’t even know they have ADHD until they’re adults. That’s one reason why they might get frustrated with you. Household chores can be a challenge when you have adult ADHD. Your family members may be doing more than their fair share of keeping the household running smoothly. ''You never do what you say you’re going to do.'' You meant it when you said you’d get to your son’s basketball game by p.m. But then you got distracted at work, and your cell phone rang, and then you realized you needed to pick up the dry cleaning.

And if you have it, it could be causing relationship problems. While everyone is different, some common problems seem to affect the relationships of adults with ADHD. On the other hand, you might feel like they're nagging you. ''You never pull your weight around here.'' Mowing the lawn. If the people you live with tell you that you aren’t doing enough, take a step back and consider whether they’re right. And before you knew it, the game was over -- and you were in the dog house.

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If you are willing and ready to strengthen the rope that holds you and your spouse together, you will bring back the warm, cozy feeling you had when you first met. Do you remember the sparks that were flying between you when you looked into each other’s eyes? Leaving the house, finishing projects, and showing up for appointments on time can be stressful for the person with ADHD. Sometimes you can’t even remember where you went, what you did, and who you were with. The trait that drives you crazy is probably the same trait that brings a benefit to your life. Remember your impulsive partner may be the fast-acting doctor, nurse, or EMT who is saving someone’s life.

Something about that person made you want to spend the rest of your lives together. In fact, it can be even better than that – a deeper, more mature and profound connection – if you choose to make the effort. Most things couples fight about aren’t worth the effort.

The rope stays strong and supportive as you both reach and climb upward together. Once you accept your own flaws, you will think differently about your partner’s imperfections.

But with too much stress the threads can become twisted and frayed, the rope weakens and gradually your relationship starts to fall apart. People with ADHD have a few more challenges than most. We are human; all of us are struggling through life individually, yet together.

*While ADHD can ruin relationships, the good news is that both partners are not powerless.

There are steps you can take to significantly improve your relationship.

''People with ADHD very much intend to do something when they say it. '' Do you feel like you’re always getting blamed for forgetting things, when you know no one actually told you about them?

It’s not like some problems where people lie or are deceitful,'' says Steven Safren, Ph D, director of behavioral medicine in the department of psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital. Consider this: The condition often causes people to forget things they’re told.

Does your wife say she feels like you’re just one more child in the house?

Have your friends lost patience with you because you’re late all the time? The condition starts in childhood, but it can stay into adulthood. '' If you have the condition, your loved ones and friends might have a hard time getting your full attention.

Welcome to the world of someone who's dating while living with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD/ADD).

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